"Rumors that Johnny passed away; nothing real yet."
"What?"
That was message I received and my response at 11:25pm on Thursday, August 29th, 2024. It was followed by a link to a CBS News article that was titled: "Two bicyclists killed after being struck by car in Salem County."
I was getting ready to head off to bed and just taking a moment on my couch when I got the text. I immediately opened the laptop resting a few inches away from me on the table while also feverishly sifting through my phone, and I started seeing the same things many others were seeing: Reddit threads and tweets and grainy images and screenshots that may or may have not been real or even related.
At best, it was a sick joke.
At worst, it was reality.
And yet somehow it was even worse.
The unexpected stomach pit grew larger with each minute that there was silence. It wasn't just any silence, though; it was a total void of communication that was foretelling the news we would all find out in the morning.
At around 2:00 a.m., I dozed off while still waiting for some kind of word that it wasn't true. I woke up around 3:00 a.m. to check on things and still, nothing. Around 4:30 a.m. I did the same thing, and again, nothing. Then again at about 5:15 a.m., and again just after 6:00 a.m.
Not a peep.
I stayed up for good at around 7:00 a.m., and it was about a half hour later that the Columbus Blue Jackets released the statement that confirmed Johnny Gaudreau and his younger brother Matthew were both dead as the result of an alleged drunk driving incident in Oldman's Township, New Jersey.
The grief process, in some ways, started for me before the news was confirmed. It felt more and more true as night slowly crept into day, and it seemed by sunrise that it was just a matter of waiting on the team statement.
We, like almost every other site, will often "pre-write" on things that are expected to happen or just waiting official confirmation. I had started that process overnight and to be forthright, was in a somewhat stunned state of mind as I attempted to just focus on the facts of the tragedy.
For whatever reason, it wasn't the team's confirmation or the stunned tweets from around the hockey world that pushed me over the edge.
It was this announcement on ESPN's show "Get Up" at 8:11 a.m. that brought me to tears:
Mike Greenberg announces the tragic passings of Columbus Blue Jackets star Johnny Gaudreau and his brother, Matthew, on ESPN's 'Get Up.' pic.twitter.com/7zbiqd0R7E
— Awful Announcing (@awfulannouncing) August 30, 2024
I still can't see Greenberg without hearing him report on it.
Two sons, two husbands, two fathers, two friends, two brothers — taken in an instant, for a needless, careless, reckless reason. (The man accused of killing the Gaudreau's is still awaiting trial, and still trying to have charges thrown out — to no avail.)
The hours and days after that were somber for so many people, and for so many various reasons. Yes, there was Gaudreau the hockey player. In the prime of his career, Gaudreau led the Blue Jackets in points in his only two seasons with the club. They were turning a corner, and Gaudreau was going to be a big part of it.
But that pales in comparison to how many people — friends, family, and fans — will miss Johnny Gaudreau the person.
It was shown immediately on this day last year when Nationwide Arena — and the Scotiabank Saddledome in Calgary, where Gaudreau made himself a household name — become makeshift memorials, almost exclusively built by those who had never met the man but who they felt a connection with. Not to mention the memorials, the vigils, and the remembrances in Boston — where both Gaudreau brothers played college hockey at Boston College — and in the Philadelphia area, where they were raised, and at amateur and national tournaments around the world.
And it's been shown since — the John and Matthew Gaudreau Foundation has been established. The first annual Gaudreau 5K has been ran. The memorial and the tributes continue to pour in, especially on this day, the one-year anniversary of the brothers' passing.
According to Peter Baugh of The Athletic, Blue Jackets defenseman Zach Werenski — along with Matthew Tkachuk and Sam Bennett of the Flames — asked for the Gaudreau Foundation to be the receipt of gifts in lieu of wedding gifts for the three men, all of whom were married this summer.
It's a testament to just how passionately the hockey world loved these brothers.
The Gaudreau's continue to grieve. But in that same piece in The Athletic, Johnny's widow Meredith explained what felt good to her about starting the Foundation.
"I have an opportunity to do a lot of good and help people who need help," Meredith said.
That's spoken like a true Gaudreau.
The hockey world misses you both very much.
