You're Patrik Laine, hotshot rookie winger for the Winnipeg Jets.
You were the No. 2 pick in the NHL Draft and you've put up a fine first campaign, recording 36 goals and 28 assists to put yourself squarely in the running for the Calder Trophy, handed out to the league's top rookie. With bonuses, you have a chance to earn $3.5 million a year.
And you need sunglasses. Dammit, do you ever need sunglasses.
So what do you do? You stop at a Speedway gas station in Columbus ahead of your game with the Blue Jackets tonight to try on a some $4.99 specials.
Don't ever change, you crazy Fin.
The Blue Jackets and Jets face off at 7 p.m. tonight in Nationwide Arena. Winnipeg is riding a five-game winning-streak, while Columbus has lost four in a row.
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